In this interview, Dr. Chuck talks with author Bruce Pulver about the importance of recognizing and processing our emotions in a healthy manner.
Handling and Processing Emotions with Bruce Pulver
Dr. Chuck: Welcome to Spoonful of Courage, I’m Doctor Page, the best guy to see on the worst day of your life, and I’m here with Bruce Pulver. Bruce, good to have you on the show!
Bruce Pulver: Thanks for having me back, this is fun! It’s good to be here.
Dr. Chuck: It is fun! And by the way for our audience, we have several segments that you can find on our website and at various places and check out more about Bruce. Bruce is the author of Above The Chatter, Our Words Matter, and you can find that also at the same website, dotcom. But Bruce is an author and speaker, and he uses a unique way of us looking at the words that we use every day and changing the way we think about and using those words to change the way that we think about our life events. And one of the chapters is the “Woah Nelly!” chapter. I believe that’s chapter 15 of your book. And by the way, Bruce, I did read your book. So, surprised that surgeons can read, aren’t you? But anyway, so you know, we all go through the gamut of emotions: depression, anger, loneliness, all kinds of feelings that race through our minds. And I think of the time that I was set up for failure and I put a hole in the wall. Anger, you know, and we all have those feelings of anger. Anger can be a positive or a negative thing, and I want you to tell us a little bit about how do we handle emotions and how this this process can change the way see our circumstances.
Bruce Pulver: Wow, yeah, emotions. So for me, I think emotions are, they’re good, they’re part of life, they’re part of our spirit, they’re part of our soul. So that I wouldn’t, you know, stifle them and always put on a certain kind. We’ve got to have ’em, right? We’ve got to go through them, right? You know, I guess we talked little bit about my job loss and, man, every emotion possible. 25 years with a company, right? Believing you’re doing okay, and this wasn’t the first one. We talked, I think, in some emails we’ve exchanged. I’m the proud, proud recipient of three layoffs in my career. And you know the only thing that was the same about every one of those situations? It was me. I’m the only thing that was consistent in downsizing in company number one, in company sold number two, and reorganization number three. So, you know, every emotion, right? The first emotion was, “wait, man, you’re kidding right? You got the wrong guy. You got the wrong Bruce, it can’t be me.” And then it was anger- you know all of that, right? Every word you can think of. And then came self doubt, “well, maybe it was me. Maybe I just got lucky. Maybe I was just in the right place at the right time.” But then at some point you kind of have to say, you know, who wins? Who loses if I don’t win? I don’t mean win like the championship, but pick myself back up. Who, besides myself, is going to suffer and be impacted if I don’t control my emotions, try to harness them for good? Right? So here’s two- here’s one word that could mean two different things. We didn’t plan this: the word “bound”, Chuck. Bound, I’m bound. What does that? What does that mean to you? First thing that comes to your mind?
Dr. Chuck: That means being strapped. That means being shackled, being restrained.
Bruce Pulver: Love that, but let’s look at it another way. If I said, “Chuck, you are bound for greatness.” How does that word bound just change in the way your emotions feel about being bound?
Dr. Chuck: It kind of reminds you of being like cocooned, like a caterpillar cocoon before they become a butterfly.
Bruce Pulver: You might have been restricted, but really, if you say, “I’m bound and determined, I’m bound for greatness, I’m bound for glory.” It’s the same word, it’s just how we think about it. So, our emotions do- you know I’m not a neuroscientist, so I don’t know how all that works on the chemicals in the brain, but I know for me, for Bruce Pulver, again, the mouse in my own laboratory.
Dr. Chuck: I failed my psychiatry rotation too, so you’re safe here, Bruce.
Bruce Pulver: I just have found, through the use of how I think in the words that I use, allow me to make some choices. They allow me to make choice of how I may not be able to control the circumstances, right? We all hear this, but you can control how you respond to them. Kind of gets to the point where, if you can think that life doesn’t happen to you, but life is happening for you, it means you’re going through something, you’re not stuck there. So you had talked about the word- the hole in the wall and the anger, right? And so maybe the word that we can use and then we write these vertically and I just look at the letters. To me, you know, we all have experienced anger in some way or another, and I’ve learned a lesson- two lessons- from the word anger. Our first one would be my acrostic “anger”: A No Good Energy Robber. At the end of the day, being angry is like taking poison and expecting someone else to be impacted by it. It stays with us. The second lesson that I learn is “anger” is just one letter away from the word “angel”. You drop the R and make an L, it becomes “angel”, and I think the world needs less anger and more angels right now.
Dr. Chuck: It’s good, it’s very good. We’re here with Bruce Pulver, Above The Chatter Our Words Matter. He’s an author and speaker and speaks in a lot of businesses. He speaks at all kinds of groups, healthcare entities and and what have you. And he helps people change the way they think. And it begins, Bruce, with what you’ve been so good at explaining to people. It begins with a word. Words are expressions of our thoughts. Bruce, it’s been good having you on the show. Don’t forget to text “spoonful” to 66866 and don’t forget Bruce’s website abovethechatterourwordsmatter.com.
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