In this segment, Dr. Chuck has Kathy Carlton Willis explain the difference between self-talk vs soul-talk, and why soul-talk is so important.
Self-talk vs Soul-talk
Dr. Chuck: There’s an old adage, “when all you have is a hammer, all the world’s a nail.” So often, we approach our life challenges the best way we know how, and when it comes to health and, more specifically, weight-loss, we often use the hammer and nail approach. We cut out people’s stomachs, give medications, focus on lifestyle, diet, and exercise, but so often we fail to recognize the greatest resource available. We pull out the hammer, hit the nail, and wonder why the outcomes aren’t what we expected. Stay with us on Spoonful of Courage, as we hear from Kathy Carlton Willis, who reminds us of other tools in our toolbox, simple resources we often forget.
Hi, I’m Dr. Chuck, the best guy to see on the worst day of your life. Welcome to the show, Kathy is a speaker, life coach, and author of multiple books. She calls herself “God’s Grin Gal.” Now being a surgeon who performs bariatric surgery, I’ve noticed something, having a Roux-en-Y bypass or gastric sleeve will not get you there. It’s one tool among many which are used, but I have observed that the most successful people are those who have a more holistic approach in their weight loss. In these segments of Spoonful of Courage, we’re going to visit with Kathy Willis and discuss her new books The Grin Gal’s Guide to Wellbeing and The Grin Gal’s Planner for Wellbeing. Let’s listen to Kathy’s approach about the body, the soul, and the spirit.
Kathy, in your new book The Grin Gal’s Guide to Wellbeing, you talk about soul-talk and self-talk. Can you distinguish between the two and give us some real, practical examples that will help us, maybe some steps that we can begin this process of soul-talk.
Kathy Willis: Sure, well, there’s negative self-talk and that’s where we go to naturally. It’s where our mind and our heart kind of attack ourselves, we do self-bullying by having that negative self-talk and that is not good. But then there’s this worldview of everything being uplifting and positive and so there’s that positive self-talk that really is a lie. You know, the lie of “I can do anything,” well no I can’t, I have some limitations on myself, so let’s not go there, let’s talk about truth for a minute. So, in my book, I talk about identifying some of those negative self-talks, and how to replace it with some positive, biblical soul-talk and when we trade out those negative thoughts for “what does the bible say? What does God say about me?” Then we can deal with it. So, for example- I’ve got my book with me- one of them is, “I’ll never change.” How many times have you heard that? Just, “I’ll never change,” you know, that defeated thing, instead say, “God is changing me, transformed to fulfill His purpose.” If we get on track with what God can do in our lives, then we have the right focus and we are able to follow in obedience with him, follow his will, and get to where we need to go. But if we think, “I can never do it, I’ll never change, nothing will get better,” then that just defeats us before we ever get started.
Dr. Chuck: So, soul-talk is vital for this lifestyle of wellbeing that you’re talking about in your new book.
Kathy Willis: It is and I explored a passage in the Psalms where it says, “oh my soul,” and it repeats that “oh my soul” several times. That’s actually a form of soul-talk, that was that psalmist talking to himself and reminding him of who God said that he was, and we need to do that if we’re going to have true well-being of body, soul, and spirit.
Dr. Chuck: So, would you say a good form of soul-talk is the psalms? You know, so often the psalmists, when they write, their emotions are very raw, they’re expressing the pain of their experiences in the moment, and is that a good example for us to maybe model ourselves by?
Kathy Willis: I love going through the Psalms and when they’re having a bad day, they will just tell God, “I’m having a bad day,” and it’s the pits when they talk about it, but if you notice by the end of that psalm, then they start praising God and once you start praising God for he is, your problems don’t look so bad and then you realize he is the rescuer, he is the redeemer and he is going to come in and make a difference in my life and so I love it. Now our lives are a little different, they go longer than a psalm, you know, the psalms might be six, eight, ten verses, and so the progression from a bad day to a God day takes place pretty fast when you read a psalm. It may take a bit longer for us, but as long as we follow those steps, it’s going to happen for us too.
Dr. Chuck: Now, Kathy, you’ve also written another resource, The Grin Gal’s Planner for Wellbeing, that kind of goes through this process that you’re talking about, these habits that we need to go through. Walk us through the benefits of going through this journal and planner in kind of developing this lifestyle of wellbeing.
Kathy Willis: Well one thing I like about the planner is that it gives you a chance to identify what your mood is for that day, and that helps you know why you might be having a struggle that day or having a hard time if you identify your mood. But it gives a place for your prayer focus and that prayer focus can take you through the whole day. It’s sort of like eating oatmeal, you know, you don’t get hungry the next hour, it sticks to your ribs and you can get through the whole day, and so that’s what it’s like when you have a prayer focus, a bible focus, so the planner gives you a place to write all of that out and then you can deal with the other elements of your body, soul, and spirit
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